We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize