it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
