just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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