I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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