I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
