He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
