i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize