She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize