Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
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