3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
