she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
