you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
