i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
