the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
