Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
