He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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