The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
where does the pee come out of this thing
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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