Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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