if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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