He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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