i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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