i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
