I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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