Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
