I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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