Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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