and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
