he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize