i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
