I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
