we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
