that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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