what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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