hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
