She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize