Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
