Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
