I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
