the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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