I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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