Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
