She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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