exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
