You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
