arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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