just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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