He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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