She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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