So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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