Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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