I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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