Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
