i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
