Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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