So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
