Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
