Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
