I love black thongs
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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