Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize