i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
