8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
