some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
