I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
