It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
