Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
love makes seman taste better
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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