tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
